Friend Cleanse….

07murphy-superJumboWe have a database of over 140,000 people who have opted into our list. Some love us, some like us and maybe some hate us. Who knows….

Is there a downside to having so many people in a database?

Downside might be too dramatic. But there is a cost and that cost is storage cost. In our current CRM system we are being charged more because the list is over 100k.

So what are we doing?

A list cleanse campaign so that we find out who doesn’t want to engage with us anymore. This will both help us get closer to the 100k mark and find out who wants us to continue to engage.

I started thinking, “What if I did a friend cleanse?”

Isn’t there a benefit to knowing who wants to engage with you?

How would you go about this Friend Cleanse?

Here’s an article from last Sunday’s New York Times that might help.

If I don’t hear from you going forward then I guess I got cleansed. ūüėČ


I forgot how to crawl today!!!

Today was day 8 of a 21-day boot camp experience that I am tackling head on. Yes there are difficult days and even more difficult moments. However, there hasn’t been a more challenging moment than when I realized I forgot how to crawl.

Brian, our fearless boot camp leader, asked us all to crawl in place. Crawl in place? What the heck does that even mean? It means exactly what he meant it to mean. Crawl in place. Get into crawl position, raise your right hand and raise your left knee and switch without moving forward.

Sounds easy right? Well not so when you overthink it.  And for those who know me, overthink is my middle name. And the consequences of overthinking can be making things harder than they have to be.

Rest assured that I figured out how to crawl again. How did I do it? I took a deep breath, reflected on the idea that I know how to do this and then I leaned forward into doing it again without any fear of being judged by others or being overly critical of myself.

As you find yourself in moments where you forgot what you naturally remember knowing how to do years ago, just get back on the horse or just get on your hands and knees and start to crawl again. Life doesn’t have to be that hard and most of the time, it isn’t.

Easier to get along with????

Is it possible for someone to practice being easier to get along with?

This idea came to me after I asked the question “Do you think it’s possible for me to be easier to get along with?”

And to my dismay, the answer was a quick and resounding “No!”

Ouch!!!! That answer stung!

From that moment, I started thinking about both how being easier to get along with can be taught and how important it is to BE easy to get along with. And more importantly, the consequences of not being easy to get along with.

If you are like me, my mindset is that I don’t care about being liked by everyone. But is there a connection to being easier to get along with and the unattainable goal of being liked by everyone?

The simple and quick answer is “Hell YES!”

How do we do that?

I have a few ideas.

1. Be mindful of what makes people around you uncomfortable

I am infamous for being quiet when my mind is distracted, when I’m not able to connect to what is going on and yes, when the small talk is too small. Until now, even though I have been told, it’s important to care about being a good host to those around you.

2. Surrender to the idea that it’s not about being liked by everyone

Focus on making people comfortable around you rather than people liking everything you say and do.

3.  Tone it down

This one is such a pain for me. I am a loud talker which borders yelling to those that tend to be more soft spoken. The best thing I can say about this is to pay attention to your listeners. Watch the frowns.

4. Make sure you own your anxiety and worry

I think this one is the key to me getting labeled “not possible to be easier to get along with.” As I reflect, I am not easy to get along with when I am stressed. Especially when I don’t even have a clue that I am letting my everyday life anxieties pile up. A book that I am reading tells me to (a) know the situations that bring up anxiety or fear for you (b) know how your body reacts to anxiety or fear (c) know your thoughts about the anxiety or fear (d) know what you feel like doing in that moment i.e. fight or flight (e) know what you actually do 9 times out of 10 (f) know what you would like to do

5. Master your own comfort before you make others comfortable

Once you are aware of your anxiety then you are able to respond to it in healthier ways. Get to know what works for you when you are stressed. Be it meditation, pray, taking deep breaths, reading the bible, going into timeout, or stop taking yourself so seriously (in other words, it’s not about you).

So yes you can be easier to get along with if you care about doing so……..Try it….

How to lose your credibility on Blab by being authentic….

Authenticity as a means to differentiate for social marketers is reaching epidemic levels. What does it even mean to be authentic anymore? Do I need to do a video blog and show you that I have dirty laundry or that I have wrinkles on my forehead too? Do I need to purchase an expensive microphone and set my office up to look like a professional studio? Do I need to sell you a course on how to make a course? What is real anymore?

Is it real if it’s on video? It definitely feels like it with all of the annoying posting of video rants on Facebook, YouTube, Snapchat and Instagram by everyday people. ¬†If it’s not the shaking of the camera then it’s the thinking out loud that is just flat out agitating. But is this just a fad or is it going to get worse? I think it’s reality TV at it’s worst!

Consider live streaming video; Periscope, Meerkat, and now Blab. ¬†Appropriately titled, now one can download the app or go to the website¬†and listen to people blabbing about any and everything. And if you aren’t blabbing then you can just express your “feeling” for who is in the hot seats, how they look, what they wear and what they are saying (winging) off the top of their head. If prepared conversation were an art form then Blab is on the way to killing it.

And if live streaming video isn’t killing the idea of preparation then it’s harming the idea of trust. ¬†There is a tremendous risk for showing up “as is.”¬†In society we put thought leaders on a pedestal and think that these thought leaders are gods. The moment we see them for just everyday people that aren’t much different than ourselves then we say “I can do that too.” In many instances when people think they can do that then they don’t pay others to do that.

For those that are depended upon for being a thought-leader then consider taking a step back and watch what’s happening in the live streaming video space before you just jump in.

Picked On or Poked Toward Greatness

If you know me then you know I walk the tightrope of being labeled a jerk because sometimes people feel picked on when in essence I am poking them in the direction toward their greatness. While I know that it’s human nature to make mistakes and miss out on the “softer” ways to poke, I also believe that it’s also about understanding one’s intention.

The next time you feel picked on, take a moment to ask.

  • Why is he/she sharing this?
  • What outcome is he/she hoping for?
  • What emotions am I experiencing?
  • Do his/her intentions align with his/her core values?
  • Is there an outcome, response, or lack of response that will hurt his/her feelings?
  • Is this sharing in the service of connection?

No more lecturing from me. ūüėČ