Is it possible for someone to practice being easier to get along with?
This idea came to me after I asked the question “Do you think it’s possible for me to be easier to get along with?”
And to my dismay, the answer was a quick and resounding “No!”
Ouch!!!! That answer stung!
From that moment, I started thinking about both how being easier to get along with can be taught and how important it is to BE easy to get along with. And more importantly, the consequences of not being easy to get along with.
If you are like me, my mindset is that I don’t care about being liked by everyone. But is there a connection to being easier to get along with and the unattainable goal of being liked by everyone?
The simple and quick answer is “Hell YES!”
How do we do that?
I have a few ideas.
1. Be mindful of what makes people around you uncomfortable
I am infamous for being quiet when my mind is distracted, when I’m not able to connect to what is going on and yes, when the small talk is too small. Until now, even though I have been told, it’s important to care about being a good host to those around you.
2. Surrender to the idea that it’s not about being liked by everyone
Focus on making people comfortable around you rather than people liking everything you say and do.
3. Tone it down
This one is such a pain for me. I am a loud talker which borders yelling to those that tend to be more soft spoken. The best thing I can say about this is to pay attention to your listeners. Watch the frowns.
4. Make sure you own your anxiety and worry
I think this one is the key to me getting labeled “not possible to be easier to get along with.” As I reflect, I am not easy to get along with when I am stressed. Especially when I don’t even have a clue that I am letting my everyday life anxieties pile up. A book that I am reading tells me to (a) know the situations that bring up anxiety or fear for you (b) know how your body reacts to anxiety or fear (c) know your thoughts about the anxiety or fear (d) know what you feel like doing in that moment i.e. fight or flight (e) know what you actually do 9 times out of 10 (f) know what you would like to do
5. Master your own comfort before you make others comfortable
Once you are aware of your anxiety then you are able to respond to it in healthier ways. Get to know what works for you when you are stressed. Be it meditation, pray, taking deep breaths, reading the bible, going into timeout, or stop taking yourself so seriously (in other words, it’s not about you).
So yes you can be easier to get along with if you care about doing so……..Try it….